Image via Flickr cc Why do we run to the dentist when we have a bad toothache but we don't run to God when we have a heartbreak? Why do we run to the doctor when our bodies are sick but not to the Healer of hearts when our hearts are sick? When Jim broke his leg in 5 places in a car crash, he sought a doctor to restore it back to its original form. He sought the doctor with urgency because he knew that she had the solution that would ultimately take away the excruciating pain in his leg. Sure he knew that the pain might get worse while the doctor treated him, but he knew that it was only temporary. He willingly underwent the doctor's treatment knowing that it would lead to permanent healing and freedom to walk again.
So many people have sick hearts. They have hearts that have been wounded but they push down the pain and pretend it doesn't exist. However, hearts never get healed without letting Dr. Jesus heal them. The Bible tells us that Jesus was "sent to heal the broken-hearted."¹ Hearts that aren't surrendered to God to heal, get infected; a hardness settles in. Some hearts even die. These people are like "the walking dead." God has given me a ministry that serves others through inner healing or the healing of hearts. God is the gentle Surgeon and has chosen to use me as His scalpel or instrument, to heal wounded hearts and to revive dead hearts. Often when God brings someone's old and infected wounds to the surface in order to heal him, he runs away. He doesn't want to feel the pain and behaves as if ignoring it will make it disappear on its own. He also doesn't dwell on the fact that the pain would only be temporary and would lead to lasting inner peace and joy. If a person gets a bad toothache and chooses not to see a dentist, it only festers and worsens. It doesn't heal itself. Similarly, when a person has a wound in his heart and doesn't bring it to God to heal it, it allows Satan's minions' access. These dark spirits are comparable to the bacteria that causes an infection in an open wound in the skin. For example, when a man's wife cheats on him with another man, this causes a large wound in his heart. This is a weak area where the enemy sees he has access. He sends a dark spirit such as hatred of women, or perhaps a spirit of self-hatred because he blames himself and thinks he wasn't good enough to satisfy his wife. If the man does not take his wounded heart to God, then the spirits will stay with the man and influence his thoughts, feelings and desires. He may listen to the voice of the enemy in his head and act out his anger on his wife or women in general. In this case, he has allowed his heart to harden. We must be diligent and not allow our hearts to harden. Several times in the Bible we are admonished to not harden our hearts. In Hebrews 3 we are told "Today...do not harden your hearts... But encourage one another daily...so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."² The man who became a victim of adultery should run to God and ask Him to heal his shattered heart. He should pray and ask God to help him to not harden his heart. He should ask God for grace to forgive his wife, as God's Word says "Forgive and you will be forgiven."³ If we do not remain diligent about keeping our hearts soft and open to love, then we run the risk of hardening our hearts. When this happens, we become void of empathy and compassion and it becomes easier to hurt others and even ourselves. It is as if we have erected a steel fortress around our hearts so that no one else can cause our heart pain. We become like robots, just going through the motions and not really living life. Jesus said that He came so "that we would have life and have it to the fullest."⁴ It was Jesus' plan for us to not only have eternal life with Him, but also to live life to the fullest here on this earth. I love story of the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. He was a man made out of metal. He was cold and hard, at least on the outside. The Tin Man sought the wizard to ask him for a heart. He wanted to experience the things of the heart, such as love, joy and friendship. He thought he didn't have a heart, until one day, when he felt it breaking. Heart-felt tears streamed down his face and he exclaimed "Now I know I have a heart!" When−not if−your heart gets wounded, run to Dr. Jesus. If you feel God bringing an old, unhealed wound to the surface, surrender to the healing process. When you do this, you will not only get free of inner pain but also from festering bacteria, or should I say, dark spirits. Footnotes 1. Isaiah 61:1 2. Hebrews 3:8, 13 3. Luke 6:37 4. John 10:10 Image via Pixabay cc Many people have watched the popular movie Taken starring Liam Neeson and assume that sex trafficking only goes on in Third World countries. The truth is that sex trafficking goes on right here in the US and it can appear in various contexts. I live in Rhode Island and have read articles in the local newspapers on a continual basis that prove that it goes on in my state.
A month ago a friend of mine from Rhode Island told me a story that happened to her granddaughter (also a Rhode Islander) earlier in the year. This fifteen-year old girl was hanging out with her girlfriends when they met up with a family member and his buddies. The group of guys asked the girls if they wanted to go for a ride and because one of the guys was a family member, they agreed. Unbeknownst to them, the girls were brought to a hotel located in Cranston. Once inside, the guys proceeded to drug the girls and tell them that they were going to sell their bodies for sex. My friend’s granddaughter slipped into the bathroom, locked the door and called her father, who was related to one of guys. Her father drove immediately to the hotel, bust in the door and rescued his daughter while at gun point. Fortunately, no shots were fired. The family never called the police for fear of retaliation from the guys who knew where they lived. There are statistics that say that around ninety-five percent of women or girls who are being trafficked have been sexually abused as children. I reckon that this is why I have joined in this fight to advocate for victims of sex trafficking. I was never trafficked commercially for sex, but I was sexually abused by several males throughout my childhood, and lived a promiscuous lifestyle for many of my teen and young-adult years as a result. When a girl is sexually abused as a child, she is made to feel dirty and worthless. She is taught that she is an object whose worth is only found in satisfying another’s sexual desires. She is especially easy prey for the one who bathes her with words of love and flattery. She wants to believe that his motives are pure; that he wants her for more than her body. Women and girls (minors-estimated at 50% of those being trafficked globally) are being purchased like a piece of meat. Who are the girls on the other side of the computer screen? Who are the girls that are meeting in the hotel room? Who are the girls standing on the street corners? They are daughters, nieces and granddaughters. More importantly, they are daughters of the Most High God. They are treasured by God. Lately, God has been bringing to my attention the women of the Bible who were known as sinners. I’ve read about Rahab, a harlot who was saved from death because she had faith in the God of the Israelites, and of women in the New Testament whom Jesus sat with and loved. There was the woman “who loved much because she was forgiven much.” She wouldn’t stop kissing the feet of Jesus. Then there was the Samaritan woman who married five times and was living unwed with another man. In another account I read of the woman who committed adultery. In each of these biblical accounts we see that Jesus did not look down on these women; He loved them! I feel that God is pouring into my heart compassion for the broken and abused women of my day. Yes, even the sinful ones. Image via Wikipedia cc Since being involved in this cause to end sex trafficking, I have learned that men who engage in pornography, often are led to engage in the acts that they have seen via media. These men are often led to purchase sex (who are considered as “johns”). This is what we call DEMAND and because there is a demand, the sex traffickers have cause to SUPPLY the “merchandise”─our daughters, nieces, sisters and granddaughters. The johns are found to be men of different races and economic status; family men and bachelors; Christian men and non-believers─men from different walks of life.
At an anti-trafficking summit, a man named Carl* came to my table. He shared with me that he grew up in a Christian household, with his mother, father and two sisters. He told me that he molested his younger sisters when he was a teenager. I asked him if he was into pornography. He replied yes; that he found VHS tapes in his parents’ bedroom and they were filled with porn. He not only watched those but also programs on HBO; all of which his parents had no idea. His story brought me to my own personal story which sounds almost the same as Carl’s. My older brother molested me and my sister for several years when he was a teenager. When I confronted him as an adult, he told me that he had been looking at porn magazines during that time. Carl’s story also made me think of my girlfriend’s father. A few years back Cindy’s* father had a nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized. The root cause was that he had been addicted to pornography for the entire 30 years that he was in ministry. He was an elder is his church. One day he had a melt down when he questioned how God could love him or use him to minister to others when he had engaged in this secret sin. Like Carl, Ted Bundy also grew up in a Christian home with both parents. Bundy is the infamous serial killer who raped and murdered young women and girls in the 1970’s. In an interview with Dr. James Dobson, Bundy admitted to viewing pornography as a teenager. He also said that many fellow rapists in the prison did the same. Pornography personally affected me as a child, which I’ve already shared, and also as an adult. When my son was 12 years old I had let him borrow my new lap top. I had a parental program on the home desk-top computer, but not my lap top. My son had been viewing sites linked to football and clicked on a pop-up window that had been blinking on the right side of the screen. It led him to pornography videos (unbeknownst to me). Later when I viewed the history, I was assaulted and horrified at videos of live footage with titles such as “Mother and Son,” and “Gang Rape.” There is a very good chance that these were not actors, but that of true, real-life people. There is also a very good chance that the women/girls (and boy) were actually sex slaves, who were forced or coerced (and most likely drugged) into these pornography acts. After I viewed these videos which were literally for only seconds, I had those images in my mind for at least 2 weeks afterwards. As each unwelcomed memory flashed before my mind, I became sickened with the thought that my 12 year old son was also seeing them in his mind’s eye. In addition, while facilitating a healing workshop for survivors of sexual abuse, I came to learn of a story from a woman whose father not only viewed pornography, but also produced it with his daughters as his subjects. All of these are evidence that pornography is not harmless. It is not a tool for fathers to help their sons become men. It is not a tool to enhance the romance in a marriage relationship. Pornography is like a drug. Dr. Daniel Amen, a renowned neurologist has done studies on the brain that prove that pornography affects the brain in very much the same way as drugs, such as heroin. Like drugs, pornography is addictive and destroys lives. Pornography is known to lead to sex acts such as rape, molestation, incest, and buying sex. Pornography objectifies women and girls (or boys). Pornography desensitizes. It is my desire to raise awareness on this issue, which includes within the walls of the Christian church. A study in 2014 by Barna Group concluded that 95% of born-again Christian men admitted to viewing porn and 54% admitted to viewing porn monthly. With these stats in mind, we must realize that we have men/teens in our churches/groups who have a problem with pornography but are most likely afraid to talk about it. As long as it is kept secret the enemy uses it as a stronghold. Consequently, other strongholds are erected such as guilt, shame, depression, and self-hatred. It is my hope that we bring this topic out in the open and deal with it instead of letting it stay hidden in the darkness. If you or someone you know would like help with overcoming a sexual addiction, please consider contacting Nathan Project. Founder Rick Kardos and his team train leaders to facilitate FMO “For Men Only” groups in churches/men’s groups. Nathan Project also offers FWO “For Women Only” support groups for spouses. Nathan Project is located in New Hampshire, but their support groups are located throughout the US. You may have a group in your area. If not, you can get one started with their help. I also encourage pastors and ministry leaders to offer books and/or curricula on this topic. I recommend a book called Pure Desire by Ted Roberts. http://nathanproject.net/ *Names have been changed |
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