Preyed Upon by Spiritual Fathers

The first predator:

A married pastor and ministry leader
A gray-haired man old enough to be my father
He spoke into my life
Encouraged me as a ministry leader
Donated financially to my ministry
I viewed him as a spiritual father
One day things became clear
He invited me to visit him in his home state
He could minister healing to me from sexual abuse wounds
Told me he’d pay for my trip and put me up in a hotel
He’d minister to me there by applying oil to my female parts
This is what God told him to do he said
I became sick to my stomach at his words
I declined his invitation and distanced myself from him

The second predator:

A gray-haired elder in my church
Pastor’s lead intercessor
He took an interest in me
Poured into my life
Interceded for me and my ministry
Gave financial donations
I looked to him as a spiritual father
I never saw the signs
Until my husband said
“I have a feeling that if I wasn’t around, he’d hit on you”
I saw the light that day
​His motives toward me were not pure
I noticed him preying on other vulnerable women
I told my pastors but they made excuses for him
Never made him accountable
God told me to leave that church

Why did I fall prey?

I had unhealed wounds from childhood sexual abuse
God said “You must let me heal you”
He shined His light on a truth I had tried to deny
My grandfather stole my virginity at age five
At age seventeen a man raped me at a party
These were the wounds I hadn’t let God touch
Previously, God led me through healing from sexual abuse
From my father, brother, and a father that hired me to babysit
I just might have advice that is worth considering

Advice to Christ-followers:

1. Never choose a spiritual father/mother of the opposite gender
Never choose a spiritual daughter/son of the opposite gender
No matter the age difference
One woman had a spiritual son fall in love or lust with her
She was old enough to be his mother
Another woman had her spiritual father get her drunk and rape her
He was old enough to be her father
A teen girl was routinely molested by her adult church worship leader
2. Male pastors and leaders should never hug
Or be touchy-feely with females of any age
Nor should they pray over or minister to females without another female present
If you are doing this—please stop it
Satan is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour
Not to mention, you don’t know if she has been formerly violated by a man
3. Beware of male pastors and leaders
Who are touchy-feely with younger males
And like to get them alone
Many are unhealed and have hidden same-sex attractions
4. All Christ-followers should ask God to show them unhealed wounds
Including childhood wounds
All Christ-followers should spend seasons visiting a licensed or Biblical counselor
Say yes to the purification process
This is particularly important for pastors and ministry leaders
Who are a target for Satan and his minion Jezebel

Notes
Holly and her husband Steve Otten are founders of Tin Man Ministries, a faith-based non-profit whose mission is to promote healing for survivors of sexual abuse and advocate for victims of the sex trafficking trade.
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Holly Otten’s testimony can be found on YouTube: Holly Otten Testimony "Rags to Riches"

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